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jbkats:

"paramore was pulled off tour for a week when hayley was 16 because her mom grounded her" is the funniest thing i’ve ever heard

bnaksy:

bullshitting an essay and getting a good grade for it

image

tacodwell:

I remember when I was a fetus I used to sneak out at night while my mother was sleeping

nayx:

this is so illegal.  we’re going to get in so much trouble.  you cant just steal all the sand from the beach and replace it with bread crumbs

intrnetvibes:

jay gatsby’s car was a real hit with the ladies

cokeflow:

crystal meth is a pretty name

thegoddess-afrodite:

reblogalert:

Lifehack: Accidentally text the wrong person? Immediately put your phone on airplane mode and once it fails to deliver, delete the message.

This can save lives

gelatins:

hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2